The need to get rich quick is in your system. Illegal smoke exits your lungs and make shapes in the air. Your mind is so clouded but yet behind the clouds you plot on how you're going to do this. How you're gonna get away from here.. you huddle with your friends.. puff puff pass.. friendly thing to get your mind off the money you don't have right now but the bad chick you got by your side. In the back of your mind you're thinking damn is she gonna stay or find another with fat pocket? Eyes are barely open, seeing the world through a slit. You look around and the faces become blurred. Feels like you're going crazy, after all maybe you fit into that small categorized box society placed you in.

It's mentally.

You know what's crazy when you think something and believe it your body start to act different. It's ALL in your mind sometimes but sometimes the "thing" that you think about can scare you for so many reasons... I've laid in my room and stare at the walls and think about what I would do "if" but I came up with no solutions. I just simply saw how everyone would respond... the most important people in my life anyway. The things they would say. I'm one to not value peoples opinions but those that affect my life in a big way. After all you have freedom of speech.

And then My thoughts run in other directions and I forgot what I was about to write. 

What's your purpose?

There's times when you feel like you're slipping away but you have no idea where you're going. It's like you're fading into the background but the image isn't really there anymore. You're reaching for a hand but no one notices you.. You scream but its silent. Everyone around you suddenly become deaf and blind. They've become zombies; just walking around without a purpose to define who they are. What's your purpose? Are you living or just alive?



I'm not likin this but whatever imma post it regardless

summer night dream

I'm summer night dream or nightmare whatever you chose

I stand out but I belong here.

I don't need labels. I don't belong on your shelf

when you look at this pic you're
 gonna think I'm a skater

its a front.

It amazes me when people all of a sudden give two flying fucks about things they didn't care about before.  Also blaming others for things they should be blaming themselves for. Like Akon said " you can put the blame on me." I'll take the blame since you're too ashamed.. too weak..too insecure.. to take responsibility for YOUR own mishaps. People will never really change... its all a front.

There's no more

There's nothing to say after  you've preached your heart out to someone who didn't listen. There's no more apologies after it wasn't accepted. There's no more tears when your eyes are dry.. just write my dear. There's no more fear when everything have happened to you. There's no more running when EVERYTHING follows you. ( Don't say hi to the devil, he will eat you.. say hi he will still eat you.. might as well say hi.) Time waits on no one, do what you have to do NOW. There's no redo button to change things and make them better. You're writing your life story in pen and there's no white out, so those mistakes are to teach you to be better in the future. There's no more innocence, the world took that, unveiled your eyes. There's no more holding your hands through this journey.. You have to experience things on your own. Don't follow another's footsteps but make your own for others to follow. There's no more time to be wasted on foolishness.. remember TIME WAITS ON NO ONE.

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change

It will never be the same again. EVER again. -___-

I've fallen & I can't get up.

I've tried to look beyond the words that I fear would be there in fine print. Soon I saw them, my heart shattered, my eyes close and my body shook. Eyes close, darkness consume me and DAMN was all I can think. How did I let myself fall this far down the hole? I got lost in this path, and I look from left to right and there's no one in sight. I hear the voices but I don't see anyone. I've fallen & I can't get up. All of a sudden this chair I sit in feel huge as I shrink into it. I don't think there's a comeback for this one, I've fallen many times but I've always risen above. I've crawled out the many holes I've fallen, but THIS ONE, THIS ONE I feel it deep in my soul that there's no coming back from it. I rarely apologize for shit I've done but for this, this alone I apologize from the bottom of my empty heart. I've really fallen beyond return. Feel like a soldier missing in action. I'm in a dry dessert and I can't see what's in front of me. I can't even see my feet. Through all this there's a light shining on me emphasizing on flaws and all. I'll whisper my apologizes for the wind to carry to you. This is the END of me I swear.


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Overflowing

Sometimes my mind overflows with thoughts; and I feel like I will surely explode. Days past and yet my mind find ways to pour its content out though my hands don't itch to write. I hate talking about my emotions, soon I start talking about how I feel my voice starts to shake. Writing have become my way of expressing myself. My mind tend to wonder too much when its too quiet. I'm thinking faster than I can write so I guess I'll wait till I explode cause these overflowing thoughts aren't all going to get out. GRRRRRRRR well at least some escape though not seen. I guess some things are to remain a mystery.

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For a fool who never seems to learn.... I guess

On a mission to save myself from drowing from these thoughts. Save myself from the words you keep throwing at me like bricks. You're suppose to help build me yet you're tearing me apart piece by piece without even acknowledging. Acknowledging I'm breaking apart right in front of your eyes..... ok THIS, UNHUNH THIS HAVE GOT TO STOP! and so it STOPS. It's my turn to build myself up again and now in turn show you, your mistakes. I'm not out to destroy your ego but I'm out to teach you a lesson that you will remember, you willl remember that it will make you the MAN that you ought to be. The MAN you should have been ALREADY. You know all those times you were tearing me up, you were taking yourself along for the ride. The damage you caused to me, was twice the wreck to yourself. So you see you made yourself only worse by trying to tear me down to the last strings of me. I will never let not a soul destroy me. I will destroy you first before you get me.

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It be like that sometimes.

You never see  pain on my face. The smile is here so people don't ask questions but inside I die. These words are the tears that I REFUSE to cry.  I keep the emotions compressed inside. They say pressure bust pipes but it also makes diamonds so I guess I'll shine till I shatter into pieces. Then you can pick those pieces up and remember me. Remember the tears that I never cried, the smiles that were my mask, the words written here, the skip I had in my step from time to time, the outfit I wore when I met you, the day I picked up the pen to stop the betrayal of HER words and her promises . Remember me!! The smile of a mask  that prevented people from asking "what's wrong?" so I kept that smile painted on my face.  I hate being questioned because I don't like to be figured out. Questions asked.. blank stare.. I don't wanna reveal anything about me, I like to remain a mystery. Don't ask me why because I HATE getting questioned!  My eyes are always dry 'cause I will never cry. I think I did enough crying already for me to ever cry again. I've lost most that's dear to my heart. With high expectations comes disappointment. It be like that sometimes.

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Untitled

These are the unmentioned tears that you saw through these words. The stories untold and the whispers unheard. There's so much you don't know yet you're willing to grasp everything within this room. The squint of my eyes as I stare back wondering what's going through your mind. I can't trust ones words, tell me whatever you want but don't expect me to believe you. There's nothing you can do to make me believe words that you say. I'm like Thomas, I don't believe until I see. There's more to things than meets the eye. Look deeper you might discover things, whether you like it or not; things exist.

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breaking free.

This pen gave me my freedom. Before this pen I was trapped in a narrow state of mind, thought I couldn't go on until I let the pen take over, to let my mind roam free, not holding back on anything that I don't talk about. I let my pen do the talking for me. Breaking free, no more chains to hold me back. Breaking free, guess you thought you would always have the power over me. Things must change; for the better. You can take whatever you want from me just not my pen and paper.  This pen bleeds for me, speak for me. This pen is my freedom; I will write till there's nothing left in me. So until then my pen will speak and bleed for me. Breaking free and so I did.

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Insomnia and run-on thoughts.

Complicated thoughts.___ I didn't sleep at all tonight and I don't feel tired at all and my eyes feel like I had a good night sleep.  Ever had the feeling that something isn't in place yet you can't pin point it; thats how I feel right now. I really don't sleep much anymore; every night I find myself awake an hour more than the previous night. Being awake so much, all I can do is think. Think about the past, present and the future.  My mind is wandering as the night fades away and the sun is peeking through the edges of the sky. My thoughts are those run-on sentences that aren't going to be fixed. Either my thoughts are run-ons or fragments. Can't seem to make up my mind; reflecting on things I need to do. Reflecting on things I need to confront; questions that need to be asked; things that need to be reaffirm. As I'm writing this it doesn't quite make sense to me, but I can care less right now. I just need to get these thoughts out my mind, feel like my mind is overflowing with thoughts. I really believe I'm an insomniac because I sleep maximum 3 to 4 hrs. Lately that's all thats been happening to me; no sleep and run-on thoughts. I wish I can sleep; be normal in a sense but that seems to be far from me. Why can't I sleep? The craziest part I don't feel tired until like maybe the end of the week. I feel like Nicole whom never sleep; but seems like my case is getting worse. Maybe I need to run and make myself tired to the max so I can sleep. My body is complicated; one minute I'm tired and the next I'm not. I wish things were different. This no sleep thing is very frustrating. -____________- oh sleep where art thou? Please find me soon because my mind is wondering too much about everything. 

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Chaos is now home

The ground shook, I just stood there watching from afar as you disappear into the rubble. My screams became silent, I called your name but you never heard it. Though I felt glued to the spot I'm standing in my soul went searching but somehow it feels as if you have disappeared into thin air. I now stand in the middle of chaos & I can't do anything but hold on to your name. There's nothing else to do about it anymore. My strength is slowly dying but somehow I feel as if I gotta hold on for you. Again the ground shook & I thought I saw you but I was just seeing things... Chaos have become home... this is a nightmare come true.. Never thought it woulda hit this hard. The boulder on my shoulder is pinning me to the ground & my figure have become faint in the dark.. my cries are no longer heard. Through it all I'm alive.. living for you. I will make it in this chaos that I call home. I now walk with the Haitian flag hanging outta my pocket in honor of you & those that were consumed when the ground shook. L'union fait la force. I feel your presence over my shoulder when I feel like I will surely sink & slightly I'm lifted back up. Chaos is now Home. R.I.P. forever engraved in my mind & molded in my heart.

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The truth hurts

Some people can't handle the truth so they prefer a lie. To live a lie, to speak lies, everything is a lie. Hearing the truth hurts their ears, shatter their hearts, and correct their soul. After all you can't help a person if they don't want help. They turn their ears from the truth, because they don't want correction.They've lied so much that they in turn believe their own lies, I guess when you tell the lies you have to live them to make them true, to make it seem like you're doing something with your life. You have to repeat it so many times to yourself to make it believable. I guess some people weren't built to handle the truth. They have put on  a mask to fool the world that they are built like warriors but the truth is weapon enough to destroy them. Lies were their shield but that's not enough to protect you from what have to be said and done. The truth hurts but you have to take the truth. I rather be told the truth and get hurt rather than being lied to, to protect me. What don't kill you, I guess make you stronger, and I'm proof. I am not weak, I am not the image that you painted in your head. I am not that faded face in the mirror. I rather you tell me the truth no matter how much you think its gonna hurt me than lie to me.

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WIthout this song

Without this song, insanity takes over. The song was the reason that  the smile lasted so long. Don't blame me you just have bad timing. YOU always tend to blame me for EVERYTHING, there's always an excuse that you find to make it my fault.  I'm going to let this blame hang in the air. I don't want to be like you and find excuses to make it your fault. Every situation always end up with the same result, funny how this epidose never plays itself out. Without this song though insanity takes hold of my feet. 

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Try being a lady.. dont suggest it

I hate when people want to suggest to me to be a lady. This poem express how I kinda feel. Sista Queen said it so well. Don't suggest to me to be lady cause then imma tell you "immagetasexchangeoperationsoyouandamericancanofficiallysuckmydick." Thank you.


Try being a lady


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Woman to woman

Ladies this is real. 

woman to woman

Monster.

Our attitude created this monster and now we don't know how to coexist with it. I don't fear you but I fear what you're gonna do. It's sad how you're not hungry enough to achieve all the things you talk about. As you walk away, I see the sad eyes you leave on his precious face, hands on the window watching you, saying a silent prayer in his heart. The anger clouded your heart, your words killed like a ︻╦╤─ smoking gun. You walk like you don't know how much you hurt others. The tears you caused, like you put cotton in your ears so you won't hear the thud of the tears from his lil heart. Why don't you come back and wipe the tears? Are you afraid of the disappointed look you might get. Will it remind you of the disappointed look I gave you so many times? Years passed by and I stopped caring of what this monster do but I keep an eye on this monster that we've created. There's nothing that can be done now, I think its a lil too late.

Copyright (c) 2010 All Rights Reserved.

I'M'POSSIBLE!

Never seen so much pain... How am I still standing? The strength in me have vanished like smoke. I don't know how I'm still standing firm on my feet and not sinking. Maybe all the strength haven't left me. Even when I'm far you always seem to get a tight grip on me. You know that its my weakness cause you keep doing the same thing and you see the reaction & you get pleasure just seeing it. I've yet to master my emotions to just become cold towards you. You doubted me so many times but yet I've risen above your standards. I'M'POSSIBLE & don't you forget it. Though the pain cease, you come out of nowhere and cut through wounds that never healed. I'M'POSSIBLE!!!

Copyright (c) 2009 All Rights Reserved.

Pa janm bliye!

Tout pawòl ou pale yo, ap rete nan memwa mwen malgre ou panse m'ap bliye. Ou mande'm sa'm panse lèfini ou pa vlé tande'm. Ou pa menm konnen sa ou vlwe. Pa di'm ké mwen pat janm la pou, se mwen menm ki te la le'w t'ap kriye jiskake je'w tounen rouj. Pa janm bliye ke se kè'm ou t'ap fatige. Men ou pa besyen pè... mwen ap leve tèt mwen komsi anyen p'at rive. Pa janm bliye ke se mwen menm ki te toujou la.

Copyright (c) 2009 All rights reserved.

You would have never though

No matter how much they want things to work there's always something that come in the middle of their progress. They're waiting for my presence to come make a difference but I won't come. Its because I dont want to be there and witness the bullshit... I'm giving up slowly on having to be the one to make everything back to normal. It's time for you to grow up because I can't do it for you. Funny how I'm expected to be mature but yet you act like you're younger than me. There's a time for everything, so imma need you to grow up this minute please and thank you. Funny you would have never thought that its hell behind those closed doors cuz when you see them outside its all smiles. You wou;ld have never thought though things were like that.

Copyright (c) 2009 All rights reserved.

The page have been turned

Just the thought can make you lose your mind. Never on the same page... the world on a tilted axis.. your shoulders sagging from the weight. eyes crying with regret, never again will you have that chance again. Someone offered to take the weight off but you didn't hear, so they walked away.. now you stand alone sinking deeper in the ground. The ground you stand on used to be so firm, now its quick sand. You look left and right but no one seem to care anymore because when everyone cared you were on your high horse. Well now that you have fallen, what are you going to do? Nothing will ever be the same... the world is now on a tilted axis. The thought made you lose your mind and now you try to get on the same page but the page was already turned...& now the book is closed!

Copyright (c) 2009 All rights reserved.

For my father... I miss you

Its almost 3 years since you been gone. I've drown in my thoughts knowing you aren't here. I'd give my all to have one more day with you. Feels like I've missed out on alot because you aren't here. Our days together were so short. I wish I had time to tell you all the things I wanted. I never had those father&daughter moments with you, I wish I did... If only I could stop time, I would definitely go back just to give you a hug and tell you how much I love you. You'll always be in my heart. R.I.P daddy I Love you with all my heart.

Copyright (c) 2009. All rights reserved.

LISTEN!

Its like everytime I talk to you, you NEVER listen. My efforts are in vain. My words always fall on deaf ears... thats why after a while I decide to be silent. You always hear me though but why won't you listen to my cry to be heard? I've stood on firm ground until I couldn't hold up all my words that bounced of you anymore. ugh JUST LISTEN!!!!

Although I spill my heart with these words I'm still not understood.
I've lost hope in you ever being sane again. I think you have gone deaf to your own voice.. I'm not even gonna continue this plea to be heard anymore.

Copyright (c) 2009 All rights reserved.

INSANE!

Behind these walls everything seem to fall apart but outside these four walls no longer shelter you, you hold up together this image you have presented to the world. The real you is hiden behind that grin you put on your face everytime you step outside... Oh where art thou? where did you go? its like you let go of yourself so much you don't know where to look to find yourself anymore. Its your fault you can't find yourself.. you watch your sane self walk away & all the screams didn't help at all... Sane you kept walking away without even turning back to glance at you as you lose your mind. You have gone INSANE with no one to help you turn that around. Sane you is never coming back, I hope you come to realize that... All you do is watch as yourself sink deeper into that hole that you can't climb out of. This is INSANE!! Get up already and get yourself together.

Copyright (c) 2009 All rights reserved.

Where art thou?

My inspiration left me. what am I to do now? I can't seem to complete my pieces. All the words inside me are getting tangled within themselves. INSPIRATION WHERE ART THOU? I cry

F A D E D

As your eyes scan my body from head to toe...I shy away. The fire in my eye faded though you thought it would burn forever. I no longer want your touch... I was so accustomed to how you held me close to heart but you made me felt CHOKED. That's why I had to fly.. release myself from your tight grip.. I had the wind beneath my wings. Soon as I left.. I
F A D E D. Now when I look in the mirror I see the scars you left on my wings but I survived now I'm stronger.

Losing Control

Losing my mind to the questions unanswered. Where do I began? Who do I go to? &somehow I can't find myself to get up out this chair in this crouch position. I feel as though I'm being picked up by my collar...being controlled like a puppet. I'm slowly losing control of this image but I don't seem to know what the image stand for anymore...what does it show?.. I was the bright blur in a black&white picture but I've become the dull one in a colorful picture.. Where have I faded to?... I still don't recognize where I am. Now that I know I've lost control I don't know how to get myself back. I never fell off the edge though you pushed me I just vanished like the smoke at the end of that blunt. -____-

F I N A L L Y !

Found it in my chest to let go of the things you've done & said & the pain you caused. You killed me inside but yet I still live though you thought otherwise. Its a sickness how you corrupt our minds. The things I've done I won't apologize for, because after all everything happens for a reason. I've put to rest all the pain you caused cuz I was getting tired of carrying the dead weight that was on my shoulder. They say time heal all wounds... I don't think so it just makes things easier. I won't forget things but I will let go... finally finding the strength to let it go... It took me a LONG time but I did it. F I N A L L Y ! Now the dead weight is taken off my shoulder.

....

Standing on the edge, below are those that have fallen off. I'm not going anywhere though, Imma stay here as long as my strength allows me to stay. I wont let go just because you tell me to. Push me I'm not falling, I have my feet planted in the ground. Its a new year & I will stand strong.