CLOSED.

The door to my heart is shut, but I will keep an open mind. In the process of loving everybody, my heart got tired... for a while love was a burden 'cuz I had to carry you and your package. Brother acting like a model person. Only I know for behind closed doors everything is different. You are a walking portrait. How can the one thing you claim you cherish you act like he doesnt exist when a certain person is around. A brother get mad when I say music is not my dream. I can't live MY life with your dreams... If I do I'm just setting myself up for SELF DESTRUCT. In all this my heart got tired of loving. This heart I have is tired of having to love you and your burdens. The blood that I have pumping in me is slowly fading to black... kinda like how you're fading. You're vanishing like smoke from a chimney. You're slipping from my fingers wait no its the other way around and now I'm falling and theres nothing to fall back upon. From now on the door to my heart is CLOSED well maybe I might keep it closed forever but I will have an open mind.

Thanks

Happy thanksgiving. As this day pass by, I think to myself about all that I'm thankful for. There's so many people that contribute to my being here today and I'm thankful. My heart sing a song, 'cuz when all hope is gone... my heart always have a melody in it.

Todays conversation: The things behind the success of mainstream artists. Its crazy how much people would give for fame and money....There'll be more on this topic later.. right now I can't find the means to write.

Gone

I stare at the empty whole in my heart in the mirror. I look closer I see my heart cry. There are so many things I want to say but the inspiration to write is gone.

Behind the scenes

I stand behind the curtain awaiting my turn to speak. I look right and I look left there's nobody there anymore it's just me. The whispers in the audience got my palm sweating and knees shaking and suddenly my throat becomes dry. The curtains open and the spotlight shine on me and everybody in the audience disappear. It really is just me here. I pace back and forth trying to figure out what I'm going to say. I open my mouth and the audience comes alive and the whispers stop. After all is done, they all stand and clap for they were waiting for me to speak. Behind the scenes all the emotion that I had put in my words disappear for I had to get to reality. Behind the scenes they saw me broke apart and put together again in a matter of seconds... thats how I had to it... behind the scenes. Men are Overrated but not all..

Sweet Nectar

In this dark room as you lay, her Silhouette figure is silently watching you, whispering with her eyes all that she wants to do to your body. You're the sweet nectar on her left thigh. The screams that her body try to hold back but you want to hear... The rough edge you have, though you soothe her body and mind... Though her eyes want you to go slow, her body wants to go fast and to never stop. You're the blues on her right thigh, the beat you got her body dancing to. When its all over she leave you something to keep you mesmerized.

Never had I

Never had I think that since I met you, things would have gone astray. Never had I thought we woulda end up here. I never meant to make you feel like you do now. I apologize from the bottom of my heart... as you know I dont apologize for shit and this I apologize for, because I truly feel like how the last conversation went wrong. Felt like I ripped your heart apart because of something that happened, that brought back pain I hide for so long. Felt like you cut right through the wounds that never healed but were hidden. Never had I.....

Silent Screams 0_o

She looks so peaceful in her sleep but there's a frown upon her face. Silent her screams have become since she began fading into the background of this portrait. She mouth the word help but it falls upon deaf ears, and her presence is not noticed because all have become blind to her. Sinking into this endless pit of what you promised but have become the lies you meant them to be. Look in her eyes, there's so much to see, she doesn't have to speak anymore because her words have become silent. Her eyes speak LOUD and clear though. The pain she try to hide inside is in her eyes, all she endured while holding to your hand though you never noticed. You want me to carry your load while you see me sinking with mine. Silent are my screams but the THUD of the tears never stop. The tears have become the river flowing at your feet keeping you nourished like the tree in the middle of the desert. She will soon desert you, leaving you dry. Going on a trip where the only company she will have is a pen, paper and music... Music will teach her how to love and move on with life. Life is too short to let the silent screams hold you back.

Keeping it moving

It got so dark I cant see anymore. Its whatever though.. Imma forget shit just like you gonna do and keep shit moving. Assuming shit when I write em... arrrrrg whatever yo. Imma really on some next shit... Shoutout to Sin [ Hit one next 15 come running Burrrrrr]... I was so out of my mind for putting with shit I didnt have to. FUCK you. All the shit you said was a fucking lie.