"I'm not from here"

I'm sitting in my house where I really don't want to be right now. I'm contemplating whether I should write what I'm about to write. I've been really fustrated since I came home saturday morning. I don't wanna be here, it's like soon I'm up at school that's when people really give it shit. Funny there's this stupid looking bunny on the fridge that say "How can I miss you if you won't go away." When I'm gone relationships work so much better.That's one reason people can be really good friends until they live together.
You ask me who the fuck I'm talking to? I tell you nobody then you disappear and don't say shit when you do. What the fuck am I suppose to think?I feel like you're trying to get rid of me by asking if I'm trying to get rid of you? Reverse psychology I think it is. I pray I am not a fool for believing in people again. I can't go through the process of closing all out. That's why I write 'cuz I'm tired of people always tryna pull shit on me. What the fuck do you take me for?
As I'm writing this I still contemplate the sentences to follow. Am I living in a state of illusion? I don't know.
I notice I ask a lot of questions but neer get the direct answer to them...or no answer at all. Right now everything fustrates me...seriously I need to spread my fucking wings and fly the fuck away.
People in my kay would never understand.
All I'm trying to do is make a difference so why not cut the rope you people got tied to my feet. Give a sister a lil space to breathe. Due to all the bullshit that occur I write...DOn't take this into meaning.
*This is my means of getting anger out.* I'm not trying to be harsh.

Sleep x__x

Sleep is like alcohol
Its so smooth&provides a sense of euphora
When I wake up tomorrow
I hope I can forget all that happen today
I will focus on the present
Got me on my knees eyes toward the sky praying
When will this day end?
When will I have peace of mind?
Sleep...come be the alcohol that smoothly makes its way to the bloodstream
A sense of euphorism is all I want right now
I want sleep to come erase the happenings of today from my mind
The anger inside
Give me strength to scream
To hold tighter to those I cherish
For I feel like their slipping away slowly
I feel like he is loosening his grip on my hand
Please hold tighter
That I hope sleep doesn't erase from me
I've said enough for tonight and so I must sleep x__x

My tears

I shed tears through my words
I don't let them fall from my eyes but my finger tips
I just won't let them..