Untitled

These are the unmentioned tears that you saw through these words. The stories untold and the whispers unheard. There's so much you don't know yet you're willing to grasp everything within this room. The squint of my eyes as I stare back wondering what's going through your mind. I can't trust ones words, tell me whatever you want but don't expect me to believe you. There's nothing you can do to make me believe words that you say. I'm like Thomas, I don't believe until I see. There's more to things than meets the eye. Look deeper you might discover things, whether you like it or not; things exist.

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breaking free.

This pen gave me my freedom. Before this pen I was trapped in a narrow state of mind, thought I couldn't go on until I let the pen take over, to let my mind roam free, not holding back on anything that I don't talk about. I let my pen do the talking for me. Breaking free, no more chains to hold me back. Breaking free, guess you thought you would always have the power over me. Things must change; for the better. You can take whatever you want from me just not my pen and paper.  This pen bleeds for me, speak for me. This pen is my freedom; I will write till there's nothing left in me. So until then my pen will speak and bleed for me. Breaking free and so I did.

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Insomnia and run-on thoughts.

Complicated thoughts.___ I didn't sleep at all tonight and I don't feel tired at all and my eyes feel like I had a good night sleep.  Ever had the feeling that something isn't in place yet you can't pin point it; thats how I feel right now. I really don't sleep much anymore; every night I find myself awake an hour more than the previous night. Being awake so much, all I can do is think. Think about the past, present and the future.  My mind is wandering as the night fades away and the sun is peeking through the edges of the sky. My thoughts are those run-on sentences that aren't going to be fixed. Either my thoughts are run-ons or fragments. Can't seem to make up my mind; reflecting on things I need to do. Reflecting on things I need to confront; questions that need to be asked; things that need to be reaffirm. As I'm writing this it doesn't quite make sense to me, but I can care less right now. I just need to get these thoughts out my mind, feel like my mind is overflowing with thoughts. I really believe I'm an insomniac because I sleep maximum 3 to 4 hrs. Lately that's all thats been happening to me; no sleep and run-on thoughts. I wish I can sleep; be normal in a sense but that seems to be far from me. Why can't I sleep? The craziest part I don't feel tired until like maybe the end of the week. I feel like Nicole whom never sleep; but seems like my case is getting worse. Maybe I need to run and make myself tired to the max so I can sleep. My body is complicated; one minute I'm tired and the next I'm not. I wish things were different. This no sleep thing is very frustrating. -____________- oh sleep where art thou? Please find me soon because my mind is wondering too much about everything. 

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Chaos is now home

The ground shook, I just stood there watching from afar as you disappear into the rubble. My screams became silent, I called your name but you never heard it. Though I felt glued to the spot I'm standing in my soul went searching but somehow it feels as if you have disappeared into thin air. I now stand in the middle of chaos & I can't do anything but hold on to your name. There's nothing else to do about it anymore. My strength is slowly dying but somehow I feel as if I gotta hold on for you. Again the ground shook & I thought I saw you but I was just seeing things... Chaos have become home... this is a nightmare come true.. Never thought it woulda hit this hard. The boulder on my shoulder is pinning me to the ground & my figure have become faint in the dark.. my cries are no longer heard. Through it all I'm alive.. living for you. I will make it in this chaos that I call home. I now walk with the Haitian flag hanging outta my pocket in honor of you & those that were consumed when the ground shook. L'union fait la force. I feel your presence over my shoulder when I feel like I will surely sink & slightly I'm lifted back up. Chaos is now Home. R.I.P. forever engraved in my mind & molded in my heart.

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The truth hurts

Some people can't handle the truth so they prefer a lie. To live a lie, to speak lies, everything is a lie. Hearing the truth hurts their ears, shatter their hearts, and correct their soul. After all you can't help a person if they don't want help. They turn their ears from the truth, because they don't want correction.They've lied so much that they in turn believe their own lies, I guess when you tell the lies you have to live them to make them true, to make it seem like you're doing something with your life. You have to repeat it so many times to yourself to make it believable. I guess some people weren't built to handle the truth. They have put on  a mask to fool the world that they are built like warriors but the truth is weapon enough to destroy them. Lies were their shield but that's not enough to protect you from what have to be said and done. The truth hurts but you have to take the truth. I rather be told the truth and get hurt rather than being lied to, to protect me. What don't kill you, I guess make you stronger, and I'm proof. I am not weak, I am not the image that you painted in your head. I am not that faded face in the mirror. I rather you tell me the truth no matter how much you think its gonna hurt me than lie to me.

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