Just maybe I'm not hoping for more

It used to be that we cared for each other. We used to show it but now the love we had for each other is no longer the same. I come from a culture where people don't show much affection but has the world gone that bad for us to turn our backs on the we "used" to care for. We used to stick together like glue and when we didnt see each other we would miss each other. Now its like this "how can I miss you if you won't go away." A brother just talk, a sister just talk but what about the other sisters that sits and wait for a brother and a sister to say a loving word or maybe just a hug. I don't a believe what you tell me you would do until I see it. Am I wrong for loosing faith in you? I think I'm not because you always had my hopes up and then you would cruch them down 6 feet under like the loved ones lost. Just maybe I'm not not hoping for more, I used to look up to you but now I look down at you. Now you're like one of the many things that I lost interest in. A brother to care and don't hide his thoughts from and don't criticize me. A sister to love, tell secrets with, laugh about the silly little things girls do, to tell about the boy that I love. I'm just hoping too much, just maybe maybe things will change

What Did You think?

When you first saw me you saw my blue nail polish and you thought about the sky. I saw you looking and I frowned and you winked at me. What did you think? I was just another chick you can have a fling with. My smell pulled you toward me like a magnet but i didnt go there for you. What did you think? when you saw me putting lip gloss on, all you thought about was kissing me. When I looked at you all I saw was another man just trying to get at me like I was your favorite food. When you looked at my feet you saw my pink nail polish and thought damn this girl got a hold on me. You examined me from head to toe and you liked what you saw. But what did you think? When you walked up and stood next to me. Did you think I was gonna maybe turn and introduce myself and smile and giggle at your corny jokes. You all up in my personal space and all I'm asking is for you to move over a little. What did you think? Really what did you think? I'm not an object you can place in catagories. I'm not clay so you can't shape me into your perfect toy. I'm phenomenal baby I don't change who I am because I'm not living to satisfy people. I live life for me and me only. At times when nobody else is there for me I'm always there. I would never betray myself. I'm phenomenal