This is what crazy looks like
I’ve been noticing a lot of
things about myself lately, things I’ve always known were there, but I denied
their existence and hoped no one saw them.
One thing about me for sure is like I like to prove points even if it’s unhealthy
for my sanity. For the love of all good things in life and the lessons that bad
things teach me, you’d think that I’d just put my pride aside and follow my
heart when it comes to the matters of the heart. Lately I’ve picked myself
apart, picked my flaws apart and analyze them and forgot about the little good
things. As I’m writing I can’t even list them, but I sure can tell you what’s
wrong with me. What’s wrong with me, is that I’m too afraid. Too afraid of the
dark, I see all the imaginary shadows that dance on the walls if I stare too
long. Too afraid of what I don’t see that I can’t see what’s in front of me.
Too afraid of what I can do,
that I don’t do anything but sit and fantasize. For goodness sake, this is what
crazy looks like.
Not only am I too afraid, I
too am too busy. Too busy doing too much, too busy doing nothing, too busy
wrapped up in myself, my thoughts. Everything sort of passes me but not really,
because I see, I just tend to not engage. I’m sort of like a wallflower. For
goodness sake, this is what crazy looks like.
