Never had I

Never had I think that since I met you, things would have gone astray. Never had I thought we woulda end up here. I never meant to make you feel like you do now. I apologize from the bottom of my heart... as you know I dont apologize for shit and this I apologize for, because I truly feel like how the last conversation went wrong. Felt like I ripped your heart apart because of something that happened, that brought back pain I hide for so long. Felt like you cut right through the wounds that never healed but were hidden. Never had I.....

Silent Screams 0_o

She looks so peaceful in her sleep but there's a frown upon her face. Silent her screams have become since she began fading into the background of this portrait. She mouth the word help but it falls upon deaf ears, and her presence is not noticed because all have become blind to her. Sinking into this endless pit of what you promised but have become the lies you meant them to be. Look in her eyes, there's so much to see, she doesn't have to speak anymore because her words have become silent. Her eyes speak LOUD and clear though. The pain she try to hide inside is in her eyes, all she endured while holding to your hand though you never noticed. You want me to carry your load while you see me sinking with mine. Silent are my screams but the THUD of the tears never stop. The tears have become the river flowing at your feet keeping you nourished like the tree in the middle of the desert. She will soon desert you, leaving you dry. Going on a trip where the only company she will have is a pen, paper and music... Music will teach her how to love and move on with life. Life is too short to let the silent screams hold you back.

Keeping it moving

It got so dark I cant see anymore. Its whatever though.. Imma forget shit just like you gonna do and keep shit moving. Assuming shit when I write em... arrrrrg whatever yo. Imma really on some next shit... Shoutout to Sin [ Hit one next 15 come running Burrrrrr]... I was so out of my mind for putting with shit I didnt have to. FUCK you. All the shit you said was a fucking lie.

HEAVY load

I'm carrying myself but then you ask me to carry you too. I don't have enough strength for the both of us. My load is already heavy, yet you asking me to take yours too. I'm not capable to take your load and still carry mine without sinking.

Journey

Walking a road with so much lights, my vision is blurred. I'm still walking though, each step is predetermined, so I don't even have to look down as I take each step. A lot of questions are asked, with very few answers. I'm on a journey to somewhere beyond your imagination of me. I am more than your words. I am the REALITY of your DREAMS. This journey is not near an end...& so this continues... Bright lights&dreams

...& so I thought

Its been forever since I wrote my thoughts away...I said awhile back that I was done writing but I guess now my heart was really into what I was saying at that moment& was not ready for the future. I was fighting for something that I thought was going to be forever but I guess it was just a thought. Can't dwell on that no longer, I must move on from what I've said because the pen called my name. There's no more space in my heart for all the words that were floating around my mind. Sitting here listening to Gyptian got me thinking to just go back to the way I used to be, but why when I'm tryna be a better person? Everything seem to go astray after those words said and the actions that were taken...& so I thought things woulda never got to how they are now. I can feel your pain but I carry mine in my eyes, I tucked it away under my heart. Somehow no matter how hard I try to hide my feelings,somebody always see them in my eyes. Though I tried to let things go, they keep resurfacing into my minds, making me wonder what's the next thing you're gonna do? I stand alone on this shore watching the bright lights at the bridge thinking things woulda been better if I didn't start letting the lights fade away. Now there's only one heart beat&I'm not sure whose it is. It used to be your heart beating at the same pace as mine but I guess mine faded...& so I thought things woulda never ever get to where it is now. Imma walk with a slight sag of the shoulders because I know somewhere you'll be without me but with somebody else.

"I'm not from here"

I'm sitting in my house where I really don't want to be right now. I'm contemplating whether I should write what I'm about to write. I've been really fustrated since I came home saturday morning. I don't wanna be here, it's like soon I'm up at school that's when people really give it shit. Funny there's this stupid looking bunny on the fridge that say "How can I miss you if you won't go away." When I'm gone relationships work so much better.That's one reason people can be really good friends until they live together.
You ask me who the fuck I'm talking to? I tell you nobody then you disappear and don't say shit when you do. What the fuck am I suppose to think?I feel like you're trying to get rid of me by asking if I'm trying to get rid of you? Reverse psychology I think it is. I pray I am not a fool for believing in people again. I can't go through the process of closing all out. That's why I write 'cuz I'm tired of people always tryna pull shit on me. What the fuck do you take me for?
As I'm writing this I still contemplate the sentences to follow. Am I living in a state of illusion? I don't know.
I notice I ask a lot of questions but neer get the direct answer to them...or no answer at all. Right now everything fustrates me...seriously I need to spread my fucking wings and fly the fuck away.
People in my kay would never understand.
All I'm trying to do is make a difference so why not cut the rope you people got tied to my feet. Give a sister a lil space to breathe. Due to all the bullshit that occur I write...DOn't take this into meaning.
*This is my means of getting anger out.* I'm not trying to be harsh.