Extra baggage on my back

Walking down the street and the weight on my shoulder shift to my back. It gets heavier and heavier each step I take. Now you're just extra baggage on my back. I carried you and your bullshit for so long now its time I let you go. You're suppose to be a man and hold this shit together but all you do is tear it apart. First her heart, now her soul. Extra baggage thats not even useful. I used to carry you on my head like a crown but yo you devalued yourself to nothing. It used to be an honor to have you but now you're like shit. You don't respect yourself because if you did others would have respected you. I used to trust my heart and my soul with you but now I guard it like never before. I should have thought about it before i made you my baggage but you're just extra and worthless. You put all at stake just for something thats replaceable. Extra baggage, worthless chump change.

Just maybe I'm not hoping for more

It used to be that we cared for each other. We used to show it but now the love we had for each other is no longer the same. I come from a culture where people don't show much affection but has the world gone that bad for us to turn our backs on the we "used" to care for. We used to stick together like glue and when we didnt see each other we would miss each other. Now its like this "how can I miss you if you won't go away." A brother just talk, a sister just talk but what about the other sisters that sits and wait for a brother and a sister to say a loving word or maybe just a hug. I don't a believe what you tell me you would do until I see it. Am I wrong for loosing faith in you? I think I'm not because you always had my hopes up and then you would cruch them down 6 feet under like the loved ones lost. Just maybe I'm not not hoping for more, I used to look up to you but now I look down at you. Now you're like one of the many things that I lost interest in. A brother to care and don't hide his thoughts from and don't criticize me. A sister to love, tell secrets with, laugh about the silly little things girls do, to tell about the boy that I love. I'm just hoping too much, just maybe maybe things will change

What Did You think?

When you first saw me you saw my blue nail polish and you thought about the sky. I saw you looking and I frowned and you winked at me. What did you think? I was just another chick you can have a fling with. My smell pulled you toward me like a magnet but i didnt go there for you. What did you think? when you saw me putting lip gloss on, all you thought about was kissing me. When I looked at you all I saw was another man just trying to get at me like I was your favorite food. When you looked at my feet you saw my pink nail polish and thought damn this girl got a hold on me. You examined me from head to toe and you liked what you saw. But what did you think? When you walked up and stood next to me. Did you think I was gonna maybe turn and introduce myself and smile and giggle at your corny jokes. You all up in my personal space and all I'm asking is for you to move over a little. What did you think? Really what did you think? I'm not an object you can place in catagories. I'm not clay so you can't shape me into your perfect toy. I'm phenomenal baby I don't change who I am because I'm not living to satisfy people. I live life for me and me only. At times when nobody else is there for me I'm always there. I would never betray myself. I'm phenomenal

Why I ask but you just keep walking out the door why?

Why would you deprive me of something so valuable? He's so dear to my heart but yet you seem to pull him away more and more each day. Why? Is it that he dogged you and you hurting so bad that you just don't know what to do. I asked you why but you just kept walking out the door never to turn back to see the tear drop from my eye. My tear hit the floor with a thud and I was waiting for you to turn and come wipe the tears that were coming fast but you took a deep breath and just kept walking. I love him its true and I would always love him no matter what. As you walk away the scene in the background of my life change. It becomes gloomy just because he's not here to call my name, pull my eye lashes when I'm sleeping and he's not. Why do you deprive me of something so valuable and dear to my heart.

Maquillage or love?

Maquillage or love? He wanted to know did I put on a front to get by with him. I don't call it that I call it my maquillage. His love is there but to me it WAS there. I'm tying to put him in the past but he keep resurfacing into my life. Was it love I had for him or was it a maquillage I put on. He try to put me on top of his world but he felt like chump change weighing me down into a pit of lies in which he called his love for me and what I call my maquillage. I wouldn't call it love because to me it was maquillage and it would always be. I'm letting you go because i don't want to hurt you and break you into a million pieces. I can't say i love you and I miss you because it's not true but I'm going to say Farewell to a relationship not worth remembering. If only you see the truth in my eyes but I'm afraid to look you in your eyes for fear you might see what troubles me and try to break the wall I have around my heart. The "thing" we had was not love but maquillage. I'm sorry I had to that to you but I have to move and spent the change in my pocket to satisfy myself because when you're not there I'm there for me.